The OR
by fckyeahcc
Summary: They were engaged, that Carlos knew. Now, Kendall is dead and he is alone. All because Kendall wanted him to live. AU, Kenlos, Jagan, Character Death.


**The OR - Big Time Rush Fanfic by fckyeahcc**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters, the show or anything, nor is this based on any of the singers' real life. I also do not own Grey's Anatomy. I am not responsible for you being disgusted with slash and/or homosexual pairings.

**Summary:** They were engaged, that Carlos knew. Now, Kendall is dead and he is alone. All because Kendall wanted him to live. AU, Kenlos, Jagan, Character Death.

**Author's Note:** So, to anyone who's never watched Grey's Anatomy, this one-shot is based on the episode "Into You like a Train," in which two people who met for the first time got themselves into a rather tragic situation. I devised this story into a way that is more reflected on what I want but for the most part, yes, this story is based on that episode.

* * *

_**(August 15th, 2012 – 9:38 AM in Capitol Hill, Seattle, Washington)**_

"Good morning Kenny!"

That was what Kendall Schmidt had woken up to when Carlos Pena Jr. screamed at him. The Latino was bouncing up and down the bed, excited and joyful, similar to how children bounce when they are preparing to go to Disneyland. Except today wasn't a trip to Disneyland, or a theme park, or anywhere a child normally would be nearly bursting out of their seams with joy. No, today was a special day. Today was Carlos' birthday.

The room was glowing with happiness, with sunshine, with excitement that was so contagious, even their pet dog Sydney and their pet pig Yuma came rushing in, barking and squealing and squabbling with the same joy that Carlos went about in a sing-song-y voice. Carlos was a child, even after the 23 years of growing up he went through. He still watched cartoons and tried not to swear too much and played with action figures and still ate dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets and always made the funniest expressions the way children do. Having Kendall by his side just seemed to exacerbate it more so.

Carlos was bouncing while on top of his fiancé, grinning from cheek to cheek, repeatedly hopping on the bed. Normally, waking Kendall up abruptly was considered a an offense to the highest degree, but when you're Carlos, his best friend, his lover, his everything, waking up like that isn't such a bad thing.

"C'mon, Kendall, please wake up! Pretty please! It's been over half an hour now." Carlos chirped. Yuma was in his arms.

"Give me five more minutes."

"You already had half an hour! Now get up. Besides, don't you wanna have some fun in the shower? Pretty, pretty, _preeeeeeetty_ please? I'll do that thing you like…and more."

That got the blonde one up. Now up, Kendall was grinning at Carlos who still sat on his lap. He kissed Carlos and Carlos kissed back. Even though for the past eight years Carlos has gotten kisses from Kendall, knowing that he was soon to have a wedding with him, it was a dream come true in a way. That was something he liked knowing.

"I love it when you kiss me to wake me up," murmured Kendall between each touch of the lips. Carlos grinned as he was enjoying the kissing. Boxers flew as the two ran to the shower in their apartment. Touches and kisses flew in the air of the hallway, quaint whispers and baffled feet stepping haphazardly while making their way to the shower. Those whispers became moans, those touches became passionate, and those kisses became love bites. They were in love. They were so in love. To Carlos, Kendall was what he wanted. And knowing he will forever have Kendall, that's something Carlos will always like knowing.

* * *

_**(August 15th, 2012 – 1:35 PM in Queen Anne Hill, Seattle, Washington)**_

Dr. James Diamond woke up alone again. It was another affair – is that the correct word for this, after all it isn't much of an affair when he loves the man he slept with but it is an affair, because nonetheless he slept with someone who was committed to another - and patience was beginning to wear thin on him. He shivered in both remorse and loneliness as he rubbed his legs, feeling the stickiness and sweat from the night before that now became a dry and flaky residue. The window by his bed was left open again, and even with the morning sun shining inside faintly, a cold breeze whispered into the room. Today, he was supposed to have the day off. The vodka bottle remained by the bedside table, half empty and broken shot glasses scattered about on the wooden floor.

The one Dr. Diamond loved was toying with him, He was making his heart ache and his brain unsteady as he waited and waited. He was in love and love, was not in it with him.

James could feel his head pound a little, the vodka from the night before becoming his morning hangover now. He forgot that he was still wearing the condom. Disgusted, he pulled off the contraceptive and sighed. Boy was he a mess.

'_I hope he chooses me. I want him to choose me.'_

He was in love and he was sick of being in love, and love was sick of him already but Dr. Diamond can't help it. He wants him. He needs him. He loves a married man, but this man was no good for him. The man cheated with James. The man used James, even if he does not want to admit it. His roommates Harry and Niall disapprove. Zayn was neutral. Dr. Tomlinson is unaware, for now. And Dr. Payne finds this situation slightly hilarious but mostly painful. James wanted this man who was unfaithful. James wanted him so badly. He was so in love, so painfully in love.

But right now he is alone. His townhouse was silent; most likely Harry was at the bar while Niall and Zayn were down at the hospital. James glanced at his cell phone; as it turns out, he had the wrong day off. He was late. Rubbing his head, he grabbed the closes set of scrubs he could find on the floor – the dark blue ones with a smiley face printed on the breast pocket – and dressed up for work.

Let's just up that Louis is in a good mood today.

* * *

_**(August 15th, 2012 – 1:59 PM at Downtown Seattle Transit Station, Seattle, Washington)**_

"All aboard, we'll be departing soon!" a train employee hollered, collecting the tickets of all nearby patrons. Kendall and Carlos stood by, holding hands, each wearing black, breathable bandages on their upper biceps.

"Can I pleeeeease take it off? Pretty please Kendall? I wanna show it off now!" Carlos whined.

"Ugh, fine, but only because it's your birthday."

With a victorious grin, Carlos bounced to the puny latrine to wash his arm. The water took some time to warm up, the heat slowly mixing into the icy clear liquid. Finding a sufficient temperature, the raven-haired boy gently lathered his hands in soap, the pink viscous fluid now a bubbly scentless mass in his hands, and slowly rubbed the wound. It stung slightly, but Carlos did his best not to be rough, fearing that he might ruin the ink within the wound.

If the ink were to come out, Kendall wouldn't be happy. That would be the second tattoo Carlos messed up if he did not take good care of it again. When the soap was all gone and the bicep was dried with tenderness, Carlos smiled with glee. It was beautiful. It was colorful. It was forever.

Carlos went back to his seat, satisfied with the cleaning and how it looked. The bronze like tones amongst the black and blue shading accented greatly to his olive skin. The lines depicted such a beautiful story the black remained most prominent within his skin. It was a beautiful anchor tattoo, something unusual compared to the tribal tattoo that Carlos got a while ago. But that was only the beginning; birds of blue encircled the anchor, forming an infinity sign and within the forever symbol were a ribbon that read the words "Love Kendall."

"So, what do you think?" Kendall asked. Carlos' smile tightened even more so.

"I love it! I can't believe that you designed this! It's, I don't even know where to begin! It's unusual and pretty and blue and…it's you." The Latino gushed, bouncing within the seat happily. His boyfriend liked that answer and kissed Carlos on the forehead. The train ride was quiet. It was like any other Wednesday afternoon.

"I can't believe it Kenny, we're going to have our wedding soon."

"I know, I know."

"It'll be amazing; already Camille and Lucy got everything set up, and I'm so happy that they got the doves, especially since the church I wanted didn't allow animals in the building but I hope –"

"Carlos, don't worry about it."

"But Kendall, what if something goes –"

"Everything will be fine. And if something goes wrong, we can work around it. I promise you, it'll be fine dear. It'll be our perfect fairytale wedding, just like you wanted." Kendall reassured, rubbing small circles on Carlos' shoulders. The smaller of the two sighed contently and leaned more into the taller one. He liked when Kendall reassured him.

"Ok, I won't worry."

"Good."

"I love you Kendall. I really do."

"I love-"

Kendall never got to finish that statement. Everything happened in such a rapid motion that no one could keep track of what was going on yet simultaneously, it was slow, so very painstakingly slow. Carlos saw it all and saw nothing all at once. Gravity vanished as the couple flew off the seats they had. The lights flickered without control. One moment he was listening to Kendall and the next, he heard a tremendous crash – the sound of earth crackling, bones crunching, doors being smashed at the source of the force, the windows shattering, glass ringing like a bell being repeatedly hammered into a thousand fragile shards, like a mirror snapping as it was being destroyed, the cracks webbing with an ear crackling pop that can rattle even the deaf, and the other patrons flying within the car, horrendous screams that could make the ears of any sane person bleed as blackness suddenly drowned the light of the Latino's eyes. He lost sight of Kendall. He couldn't see.

Carlos was out.

* * *

_**(August 15th, 2012 – 3:23 PM at Seattle Grace Hospital, Seattle, Washington)**_

Attending Physician and General Surgeon Louis William Tomlinson was not in a happy mood. His one moronic intern was late. Normally, said intern is never late for anything, but nonetheless, the fact someone was late – someone who attended a prestigious medical school, acquired an MD status and even managed to survive the beginning stages of the internship at a celebratory hospital – to work, is not acceptable.

"Damn it James, why are you late?" Dr. Tomlinson muttered while adjusting his bangs.

"Dr. Tomlinson, Dr. Tomlinson! Have you heard the news?" Dr. Horan alerted, running towards his mentor. The spiky haired brunette sighed; he won't openly admit it but he loved the new interns he had, but right now, he did not want to be bothered (unless someone is dying of course).

"Dr. Horan, I do not have time for this."

"But you have to hear it now!" Right on cue, a receptionist turned on the TV as Dr. Horan pointed at her.

An accident occurred in downtown Seattle; a transit train derailed. Many passengers were hurt. Even more were killed. The scenes even on the King 5 news were a bit graphic. The train was a skewed off rail, cars overturned and blood partially splattered on the windows. Firemen and rescue groups alike flocked around the train, searching for survivors the same way a rescue dog would continuously dig amidst the blizzard to find his owner. The reporters and journalist stood by the side, waiting to corner a poor Samaritan to interrogate.

"A train got derailed; better get ready." Dr. Tomlinson said with the utmost lack of enthusiasm.

"Sweet!" Dr. Horan cheered. At least someone is going get some surgery today.

* * *

_**(August 15th, 2012 – 3:56 PM towards Seattle Grace Hospital Trauma Center, Seattle, Washington)**_

"Ke-Kendall?"

Carlos was finally coming to. He was out cold, the impact of the derailment knocking the wind straight out his lungs, literally. He no longer heard the agonizing screams that are sure to traumatize him for a lifetime. He no longer saw the rubble that dusted itself around him. He no longer felt exhaust really.

He tried pulling his body away but immediately was immobilized.

Carlos looked around, searching for what kept him in place. It came clear to him that they no longer were aboard the train. They were in an ambulance. Paramedics were everywhere inside the vehicle. One noticed Carlos being conscious now and was asking him something but the voice was too blurred and obscured for Carlos. He was too focused, trying so hard to remember what had happened. First he woke up Kendall, had sex, at a huge breakfast, had sex again on the kitchen counter with honey and maple syrup all over the place, then the two had taken a second shower because of the mess they made, went to get their tattoos and as they rode the train something horrific happened. Where was Kendall? Where was _Kendall?_ Carlos touched, searching for around still. His hands touched someone. Carlos' vision became less and less hazy, and things became too clear to an unsettling extent. He could hear the paramedics now, yelling about stabilizing someone and the honking of the car and the blaring of the siren was heard. Carlos now felt sick but something stopped his stomach from heaving up acids. He felt so horrible sick, his body weighing nearly twice his actual body weight, his chest aching from the feeling he had, as though he was pelted with bricks and stones. There was Kendall; his head slumped against his chest. His head had small cuts on it. A trail of blood trickled down. The blazer his boyfriend wore now tattered and filthy, had blood now dripping onto it. But what disturbed the Latino beyond anything was what protruded out of Kendall's abdomen. A pole. A metallic, shiny, bloody pole, was sticking out of Kendall's chest. Carlos wanted to look away, to forget the image, dying with every second as he hoped this was some terrible dream. He was hoping to God and all of the heavenly deities out there that he would wake up in Kendall's arms and start the day all over again, start it from the very beginning at midnight even because this can't be true, this _cannot be true_.

Kendall can't be dead.

This can't be happening.

Carlos moved again, eyes still glued to Kendall. That is, until he found where the pole within Kendall ended; into his own chest.

Carlos screamed.

* * *

_**(August 15th, 2012 – 4:15 PM towards Seattle Grace Trauma Center, Seattle, Washington)**_

"Don't get your hopes up James." Dr. Horan warned. Dr. Malik agreed. That didn't stop Diamond though. He saw him and went back to looking at his papers as though he saw no one.

There he was, Dr. Logan Philip Mitchell, renowned neurosurgeon of Seattle Grace, future Chief of Surgery. He was quiet, but analytical and perceptive of all things around him; a leader through his actions rather than his words; one who listened to the problems of others and did his best to solve them.

But Mitchell was also a man of silence, who made sure his emotions remained in check, right down ensuring that his face would not betray his thoughts. His job came before his feelings, even before his wife. Rarely did he let them show, but when he did, he was a different man. Today, however, he was his usual self; aloof and working, analyzing and planning, leading and correcting.

Dr. Mitchell was discussing something Dr. Liam Payne. Diamond couldn't hear but watching Mitchell's lips, he could not help. News of the train derailment circulated but Diamond quite didn't care. It had nothing to do with him. What he wanted to was to talk to Dr. Mitchell, and maybe kiss him. Ok, correction, kiss first, talk later.

Mitchell saw Diamond. Guilt and longing washed over him. He stood by the desk of the lobby, listening to Payne drone on and on about possibly asking Dr. Malik out, or was it Horan? One of those two interns.

Mitchell wanted Diamond. He wanted him because he knows now what he wants. He doesn't want women anymore. He doesn't want men. He just wants James Diamond. He has repeatedly asked himself, looking carefully at what it is that makes Diamond so damn desirable and wondering how can he be so captivated by that intern. Mitchell still looks back at the night they first met, both drunk, both angry and sad, both lonely. Oh that one night. That one terrible night, not even a good one nightstand, but somehow Logan had his emotions tangled with the tall former model. They were tangled badly.

The small brunette was not gay. He never even thought about being with a man. In the five years that he and Camille had been married, he was a happy man. They were planning to have a kid soon. But one drunken night, unaware that Diamond was an intern, and Mitchell slept with him. The sex was sex. But the morning after…it was not what Logan expected.

Here's what the famous doctor anticipated; the prettier tall boy would ask him to leave, stating that he might be late for his job and that being a so-called "John Doe," he had five minutes to get dressed and get out. But instead, James made him breakfast. James talked a little bit about his past, including the divorce his now-senile mother, the former owner and founder of Diamond Cosmetics. It was unexpected and Logan wanted to leave but something convinced him to stay. So he stayed and now he's paying for it with love.

Except, he also loves Camille. He really did. Logan may not show it easily, even fearing to show it too on the occasion, but he loved his wife, no matter what anyone had to say.

James started walking to him, but Liam was so insistent on this debate about asking Zayn out that he ended up following his fellow surgeon into the elevator. He left James behind.

* * *

_**(August 15th, 2012 – 4:38 PM at Seattle Grace Trauma Center, Seattle, Washington)**_

"Sir, I need you to calm down, please, will you calm-"

"No! I will not calm down! My boyfriend is pinned to this pole with me and you expect me to be calm when you couldn't even give us a proper shot for some damn anesthetic? What kind of lame paramedic are you? You do not to get to tell me to calm down until you have been speared in the chest with a filthy pole! Take this out of us now!" Roared Kendall. His face was flushed an angry red, and he was unaware that he was making Carlos whimper. They got the two into the hospital finally, their gurney nearly falling while people stared. The little snag in the sidewalk that made the gurney the two sat on jump shot a horrible rancid wave of agony into the Latino.

And like hell were all the people in the waiting room were discreet. Their beady eyes were only infuriating Kendall even more so while a poor nurse was trying to setup an IV. They were taken to a somewhat more private setting, and more nurses came in. Surgical scissors came into view. Carlos gasped at feeling the stainless steel snip at his favorite t-shirt.

"What are you doing?!" Kendall raged again.

"Sir, I have to cut your clothes and replace with them with ummm hospital gowns."

"Did you just stutter?!"

"Kendall! Please, calm down…I'm scared." Carlos finally said. His voice was barely above a whisper but Kendall saw the eyes of his lover and stopped yelling.

Just then five doctors had walked in. Their eyes were magnetized to the blonde and the raven. Kendall did not notice them for his back was to the nurse who clearly had no idea on what he is doing but Carlos saw them scrutinizing him. He wanted to hide but he can't. He wanted Kendall to stop yelling but he can't. He wanted to be held closely and pretend that this wasn't happening but he just can't.

Something pricked his arm, and glancing in the direction of the sensation, he saw another nurse giving him a shot. She smiled without saying a word, just humming while she slowly pressed the syringe down.

"Carlos, what is she doing? Who are you?" Kendall barked again.

"Shhh…Kendall, please calm down, I need you to calm down. I love you."

Kendall's face hardened, eyes become still, lines becoming stony. One of the doctors grunted.

"Hi there, my name is Liam Payne, I am surgeon here at Seattle Grace, and I specialize in trauma and cardiovascular surgery. My friend here is Dr. Logan Henderson, neurosurgeon and these are our interns, Dr. James Diamond, Dr. Zayn Malik and Dr. Niall Horan; we are here to assist you in your predicament and will do our best to assist the both of you."

Kendall glared at the brunette with the British accent.

"We'll need to perform some tests first, if that is alright?"

"No! I don't want you-"

"Sorry doctor, can we have a moment alone please?"

Dr. Payne grinned with a calming look radiating in his eyes and he ushered the others out with him. Only the nurses that were trying to clean the wounds stayed.

"Kendall, what's wrong? Why are you so angry?"

"Those doctors don't know what they are doing! They're hurting you!"

"Kendall, please calm down…please," pleaded Carlos. The raven grabbed his lover's hand, ignoring the uncomfortable pain that vibrated in the muscles of his arms. For the first time in a long time, Kendall flinched at Carlos' touch.

"Carlos…I'm scared."

Carlos was taken back. If there was one thing he had always known was that Kendall was rarely scared. There were two four instances in seven years that the two have been together.

The first time was the day Kendall came out and asked Carlos out on a date.

The second time was when Mama Schmidt had caught the two kissing.

The third time was at the Pena house when Kendall had not only told Carlos' parents of their relationship for the first time but proposed to him.

And the fourth time was when Carlos gave his virginity to Kendall.

But here was Kendall Francis Schmidt, shaking, and his green eyes were wilted with tired bags and tear stains. His blonde was crying, and Kendall turned his face away from the Latino. Carlos was shaken by this, by the fear that Kendall had confessed. It was seldom that Carlos had to be the strong one, but right now that is exactly what Kendall needed, someone to be strong for him.

Carlos held Kendall's hand tighter. With his other hand, he tried his best to wipe away the tears that streamed down Kendall's cheek as he turned him towards him.

"I'm here Kendall, I promise you I won't lose you. Please don't cry, don't cry anymore Kendall. We'll make it. We'll be fine. We are going to be fine."

The doctors knocked, walking back in. Kendall still held Carlos' hand but his lips now were pursed.

"Are you two ready for the tests?"

"Yes."

* * *

_**(August 15th, 2012 – 5:07 PM at Seattle Grace Hospital Medical Imaging Department, Seattle, Washington)**_

A giant white screen faced the two. It was connected to a gigantic machine that beeped and blooped and shined in the hospital lighting. The nurses worked on making sure the two were comfortable. Patients, inpatients and outpatients, gawked in absolute awe at the two as though they were not injured people an attraction at a tragic freak show. Dr. Malik and Dr. Horan were helping with the radiologists and radiographers.

As those two were busy, Diamond and Mitchell were alone. The doctors sadly cannot perform a CT scan to gain a better image to see exactly what was struck. The shorter of the two, being Dr. Mitchell, was going through all the information provided. So far, Carlos is in good shape. Stable blood pressure at 120 over 80, minimal bleeding, and the shock not taking away too much oxygen initially, the odds are in the Latino boy's favor.

His blonde however, was not doing so hot. He was in grave danger. Kendall's bleeding was under decent control, but earlier it was worse and already he lost a good amount of his own blood. His aggressive behavior along with the lowering blood pressure was accenting his condition with more unfavorable problems.

We'll have to see what the x-rays will reveal.

"I love you."

Dr. Mitchell looked up from the papers in bewilderment, eyes finding Dr. Diamond looking directly at him. Their scrubs were both wrinkly, both worn down a little. The white long sleeve that Diamond under his scrubs made his muscles look bigger. Mitchell gulped a bit of air.

"Dr. Diamond, we don't have time for this."

"Then choose. I am not going to make you choose me, but I want you to choose someone. If it's me you love, great! I love you, but if you choose _her_, just…just say it, ok?"

"Dr. Dia-"

Kiss. The papers in Dr. Mitchell's flew to the floor with much disregard as James swept the shorter man in a kiss. This was not the typical passion-laden kisses that James would give in the comfort of the darkness with the occasional glow of the moonlight. No, this wasn't the kind of kiss that Logan was used to because for once, he felt something other than happiness on the pair of lips against his own.

"Please, Logan, please don't call me that. Don't call me like I'm some person you _just_ work with, please don't. If you can't give me an answer, if you can't tell me the truth, I can never forgive you. Just tell me."

They can't be caught like this, not by Tomlinson at least. But Dr. Mitchell could not find it in his heart to push the taller one away. James held him closer, and the kissing became more fervent, that is until a couple of taps were heard. The two saw Zayn tapping on the one-way mirror that led to the room with the x-ray machines. Zayn couldn't see but he had a knowing look on his face. The two separated.

The x-rays proceeded without much being said.

* * *

_**(August 15th, 2012 – 5:47 PM at Seattle Grace Hospital Medical Imaging Department, Seattle, Washington)**_

"I would like for you to wiggle your toes Mr. Schmidt." Dr. Mitchell requested as he readjusted the latex gloves he wore. Kendall looked to Carlos and Carlos nodded. Kendall tried. He focused all his energy into his foot. Flexing his legs, Kendall was hoping that his toes will move. _'C'mon big toe, move, please.' _He didn't know how else to do it. If anything, he wanted something to move, say his arm for instance, he didn't tell his body to do it. He just did it. Something did not feel right but Kendall didn't say anything. Hopefully the doctors might know why something inside of him feels wrong.

Kendall could not see at the angle and position that he was in but Dr. Mitchell did. Kendall couldn't move it. Yet the look on Mitchell's face remained the same. Mitchell then smiled.

"Thank you Mr. Schmidt."

"No problem."

Striding around, Dr. Mitchell had asked Carlos to do the same exact thing. The olive-skinned boy's toes wiggled freely, even his knee were swaying.

Dr. Diamond was blushing in the corner of the room while Dr. Horan stood by his side, trying to get the answers out of him. Dr. Payne and Dr. Malik both returned, blushing a little as they came back with huge folders. All five doctors had stepped out of the examination room to discuss the x-ray results.

* * *

_**(August 15th, 2012 – 5:51 PM at Seattle Grace Hospital Medical Imaging Department, Seattle, Washington)**_

"How are you holding up Kendall?" Carlos asked. Kendall felt queasy but overall he was doing somewhat fine. The two have never let their hands come apart. Carlos tapped his finger on the engagement ring that Kendall wore.

"I don't know, to be honest."

"Oh."

"You?"

"I'm doing alright. A little uncomfortable with this pole in me, and it's making me a bit itchy, but at least we've spent all day together super close! Besides, when we're done, we're gonna have some cool birthday scars."

Carlos needed to stay positive. He can't be weak right now. '_Think positive, think of all the things that can make Kendall smile, just stay cool and stay positive.' _But staying positive was so hard. It was hard when you are actually in a great amount of pain or when the one person who keeps you all the time is now an eyelash beating away from breaking down again, it was hard to keep positive.

But Carlos did it anyways because he loves Kendall.

'_When we are done here, I am going to make sure you know how much I love you every day for the rest of my life, I promise you that Kendall._'

* * *

_**(August 15th, 2012 – 5:57 PM at Seattle Grace Hospital Medical Imaging Department, Seattle, Washington)**_

"Just as I suspected. The pole has struck Mr. Schmidt in the spine in his thoracic region. The vertebrae have been severely fractured, obliterated even and pieces of bone fragments not only have scattered but even embedded themselves on surrounding nerves. When performing a sensation test, Mr. Pena was able to create stimuli but Mr. Schmidt was unable to move his toes. In addition to that, there seems to have been severe damage done to the aorta. I am no cardiovascular expert but if damaged, Mr. Schmidt will undergo rapid bleeding. His chance of survival are extremely low." Dr. Mitchell announced as the x-rays were posted onto an illuminating board.

"It seems that Mr. Pena once more has better conditions than Mr. Schmidt. While the pole has struck the interior vena cava which if ruptured due to removing the pole, can cause quite a bit of hemorrhaging, the chances of helping Mr. Pena are better. Unlike Mr. Schmidt, the pole did not strike any major nerves or vertebrae, which once removed and properly operated, the chances of paralysis is significantly lower than Mr. Schmidt's chances. Mr. Pena's general health also seems to play a great role in benefiting his survival compared to Mr. Schmidt's whose blood pressure is still somewhat unstable as it is getting weaker along with having a low platelet count within his blood." Dr. Payne added.

James was not liking the sound of this. He glanced out of the small room and into the other, looking at the two patients holding hands. James saw as the blonde was struggling to keep composure but the smaller one. They barely spoke above a whisper, but James read the words 'I love you,' come out of the blonde's mouth.

"One of them has to be moved." Dr. Horan said.

"We should move Mr. Schmidt off so we can operate on Mr. Pena?" Dr. Malik thought aloud.

"How do we decide?"

Dr. Payne, Dr. Mitchell, Dr. Horan and Dr. Malik all looked at James.

"How do we decide? Both of them have a chance? Ok, so one of them has a higher chance of survival than the other, but we are doctors. It does not matter who has the higher chances of surviving, we help them both, but here we are, deciding. Who are we to decide their fates? How do we decide who lives and who dies?"

James was met with an unsatisfactory silence while the illuminating board hummed like it was supposed to be humming.

* * *

_**(August 15th, 2012 – 6:02 PM at Seattle Grace Hospital Medical Imaging Department, Seattle, Washington)**_

"Mr. Pena? Mr. Schmidt? Are we interrupting something?" Dr. Diamond interjected.

"No, what is it?"

"We need to discuss the course of action that we will be taking."

The couple flinched. James did not have a comforting look on his face.

Dr. Diamond turned to Dr. Tomlinson who nodded his head to proceed with the news. James hated this. He knew it was part of the job into becoming a surgeon but it didn't make this any less painful or any less easy. It were moments like this when James wonders why the hell he decided to stop being a model and started wanting to be a doctor. He hated being the bearer of bad news.

"Removing the pole right out of both of you can cause a grave amount of hemorrhaging so we have opted to moving one of you off the pole. We ran a few tests, doing a stimuli test – that was when we asked you to wiggle your toes – to going over the x-rays. And…Mr. Pena, your chances of survival are relatively better than Mr. Schmidt's. We have decided to remove Mr. Schmidt off this pole so we can operate on you."

"No! How can you do this to us?! How do you get to decide this? Why is it that you can't save us both?" Carlos exploded. James flinched.

"We can try. We considered trying to saw the pole in half so neither of you are removed but the vibrations of the saw will have the same effect as removing the pole directly. Physically speaking, we can't fit you two into the CT scanner which could have help us see exactly what that pole has struck, and as a result, we have no choice but to go in blind. I'm sorry."

"No, no, no…there has to be something, anything, please." Begged Carlos.

"Carlos?" Kendall asked.

"Yes?"

"It'll be ok. You need to do this."

"Kendall, I can't. I can't do this. I don't want to live without you. I don't want you to die."

"Carlos, I…I am scared. I'm scared of dying."

"I know tha-"

"Let me finish Carlos. I'm scared of dying, but what I am more scared of…is knowing I would have to live a life without you. I want you to live. You to take this surgery."

"And what if they don't save you?"

"If they save me, then we'll have our wedding here. We'll have James and Logan come here, and Lucy and Jo and Camille decorate our bedroom and we'll have Buddha Bob do his sermon and then wed us, and after that when we're better, we'll go on our honeymoon, back to Maui, and we'll go exploring the rainforest against just how you wanted."

"You didn't answer my question Kenny."

"Yes I did. Because we'll make it. And if I die, I'll always be with you. I'll be with you in that tattoo we got today, I'll be with you when you wear that ring on your fingering, and I'll be with you in your heart. But don't believe that I'll die. I'll be with you, Carlos."

Carlos couldn't accept that statement fully. He knew that Kendall might not make it. He hated believing that truth but there was nothing else saying otherwise. Kendall's chances of living are paper thin.

Kendall wanted him to live.

"I'll do it."

And with that said, the couple was wheeled away to an OR.

* * *

_**(August 15th, 2012 – 7:24 PM at Seattle Grace Hospital Surgical Bay, Seattle, Washington)**_

The operating room was one of the more new ones. The room was completely white, with hints of an aqua, sea foam green here and there. The tables were all lined with plastic coverings. The scalpels, surgical clamps, the basins, you name it, it was sent to an autoclave and then sterilized down to the molecular level. Everything in this room was thoroughly sanitized. It was hard finding a description for the smell because even the scent of hospital soap cannot describe this OR. The room was too clean and too tidy that even an aroma has been scrubbed away.

It was making the couple really awkward. It reminded them of how one of their close friends was quite the clean freak.

"Kendall?"

"Yeah Carlos?"

They were being prepared for surgery. The time was near. Carlos wasn't always good with secrets. If he did something wrong, he'd be one to come forth with the truth. But this was one of those secrets where in truth, he did not know whether to tell Kendall or not. On the one hand, he were to tell the blonde, he'd hurt him, but on the other…if he didn't, he didn't do anything about the wrong he has committed, he'd be hurting Kendall even more so. But now is not the time to debate this. If Kendall dies, there was something Carlos wants him to know before he dies, at the very least.

"There's something I've been meaning to tell you, for a long time now. And it's been hurting me, to keep this inside of me. I cheated on you."

Carlos wanted to hear Kendall burst again. Kendall doesn't take cheating well. Carlos knew from Kendall's past relationships, especially of how destroyed Kendall seemed by the atrocious action. But Kendall didn't yell. He had a softened expression.

"I knew Carlos. I already have forgiven you."

What the two were unaware of was the fact that both Dr. Diamond and Dr. Mitchell were in the room with them. They two were waiting for the anger to come forth. James thought about what he had just heard. Kendall forgave Carlos because Carlos chose him, despite hurting him. It was odd, that even though Carlos didn't tell Kendall…Kendall still loved Carlos, all because he told him the truth. Diamond wanted that. Diamond wanted Mitchell to just tell him the truth. James most likely won't admit it openly because of his pride, but even if Mitchell were just using him, even if he didn't choose him…James would still love Logan. What he needed was the truth.

"You knew?" Carlos gasped.

"Yeah, I knew. And I forgive you. You made a mistake, and well…despite your mistake, you chose me because you love me. That's why I forgive you, because you still loved me, even when you did take the chance to be with another person. Thank you for finally telling me."

"Kendall, I'm so sorry…"

"Shhh, it's ok. Carlitos, it's ok, I love you."

"I should have told you before though."

"It is better I know now than never baby."

"I love you Kenny…"

"I love you too Carlitos. I will always love-"

Kendall never got to finish that sentence. The anesthetics have sank into the blonde's bloodstream and he was out. His Latino followed shortly after. They both wore heavenly expressions on their face, as though knocked out peacefully by an angel. Zayn and Niall held Carlos while Liam and Logan got Kendall. Both of their heart rates fluttered on the EKG. James had to prepare for the moment that consistent beating goes haywire.

"Dr. Diamond, when we give you the count of three, you will hold the pole as tight as you can and make sure to minimize the shaking while Dr. Payne and I remove Mr. Schmidt." Logan instructed.

"One, two, three!"

In that moment, as James held the pole still, he watched someone's lover die.

Kendall was pulled back, the portion of the pole he was being removed from become coated in his blood. A surgical nurse handed Dr. Payne a medical saw and right away he began sawing at the pole next to James. The shaking was rapid and Carlos' heart rate spiked up drastically. Kendall was crashing. The blonde was finally off the pole and a nurse took James' position as James and another nurse worked on Kendall.

They went in, creating an incision. Dr. Malik and Dr. Tomlinson joined them. With the retractor, the damage was seen. Kendall's aorta was torn by the shifting of the pool, his insides now pooling in dark crimson. James tried but there was too much bleeding. There was too much everywhere.

James continued trying though. Kendall's heart was crashing, heart losing rhythm and blood being continually pumped erratically as the aorta just splattered with blood. The heart now stopped. James dove his hands in around the frail heart and began pumping it. Dr. Malik and Dr. Tomlinson knew that the bleeding could not be stopped though. To James, he was fighting a losing battle and Zayn and Louis watched him continue the losing battle.

The two stepped away and went to fetch new gloves. Blood dripped down from their surgical gowns and James was shocked that they left. It was then he realized only he was left to work on Kendall.

"No! Someone help me, please!"

No one moved to help James. Dr. Payne, Dr. Mitchell, everyone operating on Carlos. But they didn't even make any effort for Kendall. No one made a single effort.

"Dr. Diamond." Dr. Payne shouted across the OR.

"No! We can't just leave Kendall. We can't. We are doctors, we have made the commitment to save both of them! We can't just leave him."

"Dr. Diamond, you have to let him go." Louis sternly said.

"No, we have to save him!"

"James, let him go. Just let him go." Louis sternly said again.

"James, he's gone. You need to let him go." Zayn whispered, trying to pull the taller one away from the once living man. He was gone now. Kendall's heart beat when from a nightmarishly fast pulse down to a flat line. James didn't want to believe it. But it was reality. It was true. Kendall was gone. Logan stopped briefly, glancing at James. James was staring right at him but he didn't leave his post. He was too busy saving Carlos. Carlos' sternum was extended in an effort to assist his declining pressure. They stopped his bleeding. Carlos had undergone a resection within his chest, and his organs were now safely back into place, where they belonged. They saved Carlos.

But no one saved Kendall. The only thing James could do was step back despondently, while the rest of the world whirled in such a blinding motion it was though they were no longer people but mere blurs of light.

* * *

_**(August 16th, 2012 – 9:15 AM at Seattle Grace Hospital Post Operation Care Unit, Seattle, Washington)**_

Carlos woke up. He looked around the room. It was dark. The shades were pulled down and shut. There were flowers and balloons and stuffed animals but Carlos was alone the room.

The door opened.

Dr. Diamond came in along with someone Carlos knew.

"Hi Camille." Carlos said softly.

James looked in surprise; did Carlos know Dr. Roberts-Mitchell? Apparently he did. Camille sat by Carlos, and she held his hand. The Latino was fighting the tears in his eyes so hard, so very hard. He didn't want to be here, he wanted to be with Kendall. But Kendall was gone. He was gone, he was gone, he was gone.

Two more came into the room. James once more had a surprised look. The first person was a tall brunette, a handsome face with eyes that spoke loudly of his prideful personality. He was muscular, a tough looking guy, someone who may have gone to the gym quite a lot. His hair was fixed the bangs going to the left and his lips were a nice pink tinted color. It surprised James that this guy was almost identical to him. If anything, he might have met his doppelgänger.

The other person was a shorter brunette with his bangs combed and gelled up at the front. He had dimples and a soft, mild manner smile on his face. His complexion was slightly paler than the other guy's but he was nonetheless still stunning. He looked identical to Logan. The two guests came in holding hands, and on their hands were two golden bands on the wedding fingers.

"Hi James, hi Logan." Carlos greeted weakly. Dr. Diamond turned to look at Carlos. Did Carlos say their names were James and Logan as well?

"Oh, hi Dr. Diamond, I didn't notice you there. These are my friends; Logan Henderson and James Maslow. We were roommates in college. You know Camille, right?"

James looked at Dr. Roberts-Mitchell. He was jealous of her, for having the one he loved, but he gave a gracious nod to Carlos.

"I'm sorry about what happened Carlos…" Said Carlos' friend Logan.

"He will always be with us."

Those two men intrigued James. It was as though they came from another universe or of some sorts because those two looked exactly like he and Dr. Mitchell, but those wedding bands…they say something else.

Dr. Diamond dropped off his card, not even saying goodbye to Carlos, Dr. Roberts-Mitchell or the others.

* * *

_**(August 16th, 2012 – 10:01 AM at Seattle Grace Hospital Post-Operation Care Unit, Seattle, Washington)**_

James sat on a bench across from the elevator. He left a card for Carlos at his room. Today was the start of his day off, so now he was going home to rest. His feet ached, his arms sore, and his face tired, but nothing hurt more than the way his heart did.

He watched someone's lover die.

The elevator beeped, and ironically enough, there stood Dr. Mitchell. James was anger at him. He was anger because Dr. Mitchell wouldn't tell him the truth and he was anger because Dr. Mitchell didn't think twice to not help James when he cried out. Dr. Mitchell left Kendall on the operating table the same way that he left James without the truth and for that, Dr. Diamond was angry.

The elevator felt abnormally small, and the ride down to the lobby would be long since for some of the oddest reasons, Post-Op is in the higher levels of the hospital. The lights flashed at the sixth floor, indicating that they were halfway down. It was then that James stepped to the elevator control panel, opening the emergency cabinet and pulling on the lever that stops the elevator.

"Why did you stop the elevator?"

"You chose her, didn't you?"

"She's my wife."

"I love you."

"I love her."

"You don't love her."

"She's still my wife."

James wanted to kiss Logan, but he couldn't. Logan chose his wife. He can't fight anymore. He silently cried as the elevator resumed descending down to the lower levels.

* * *

Gahhhh! I actually had a lot of fun writing this one despite the death of Kendall and loss of James' love. I kind of wanted to do the scenario where the boys meet their doppelgänger, to truly accent what the meaning of an alternate universe would be like. That's sort of why Carlos and Kendall had their real last names but James and Logan did not have their original last names until the end where James meets the doppelgängers.  
Critic and review please.  
Chrissy (:


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